The Koshus Nexor

KOSHUS NEXOR

In its on-going battle against showing that women actually exist, the latter day saintly rabbis of Ramat Beit Shemesh have ruled that women may no longer publish cook books.  Rabbi Ichweiss Alles said, “Cook books imply, by their very nature, that women exist. We must not allow men to be overshadowed by arrogant female writers.”

The Chief Rabbi of El Tiperello, the stink-hole island of the Caribbean, has ruled that popcorn must be checked for bugs.  He said that popcorn looks just like cauliflower florets, and kosher consumers know that cauliflower must be checked for bugs, so, popcorn must also be checked.

Israel Tank Industries announces that they have just now brought to market a special, home sized flame thrower just in time for pesach.  Oven needs to be made kosher for pesach?  The handy dandy Home Kitchen Kosherizer is the perfect tool for a quick oven kosherizing.

Is there chametz hiding in your electrical wires?  You need an expert!   Yiddl Tzadik has been in the business of cleaning electrical wires for pesach for over three months.  He will come to your home, rip out your old, chametz infested wires, and rewire your home for pesach.

Attention NYC residents!  As we all know, there are microscopic copepods in your water.  Why buy an expensive filter when the little critters cannot exist in water below 60 degrees Fahrenheit?  Clear Water Revival, Inc. sells micro fiber small cloths that fit over the top of your drinking glass.  The fiber will collect any copepods hiding in your summer water.  Each cloth is good for sixty days.  Only a few cloths will get you through the warm weather season.  Cloths retail at sixtynine cents each- much cheaper than a filtration system.

Back in the early sixties, we all sang, “Late at night while you’re sleeping, poison ivy comes a creeping’ around…. “  Today we know it is not poison ivy that comes creeping around. Rather it is mites.  And while you are sleeping, you inhale and ingest hundreds of mites.  Those mites are TREFE.  And we know that even eating one little bit of trefe is worse than the whole rest of the sins listed in the holy Torah. To the rescue comes Fresh Air Filters, Inc.   They sell doctor style face masks that will keep those pesky little critters out of your mouth.  Additionally, as most people go to bed less than six hours after eating a heavy dinner, there are masks marked chalavi (dairy) and basari (meat) so you can wear the appropriate face mask each night.  They even offer a DE mask.  Approximate cost per mask is $16.95.     You cannot put a price on being careful.