THE KOSHUS NEXOR

A recent article in a magazine devoted to issues of kosherness, told of the latest crisis to hit the kosher world- who certifies the tea served on shabbat at every shul kiddush? The tea bags are certified, but who oversees the actual making of the tea? And how do we know that the water used was under kosher supervision? Even worse, how do we know that the plate on which the crackers were served did not have some sort of invisible bug residue on it? If there is no rabbi there with a magnifying glass how can we be sure?

In Israel, famous posek Rabbi Minyashuv wrote that we may no longer eat cholent. It seems that too many shuls have a bad odor permeating the main room and it is quite impossible to daven as a result. The rabbi said that when they can create a beanless cholent he will revisit the issue.

In other matters, a challenge has been issued by several Israeli dye companies against the rabbinut. Saying that their dyes also produce techelet, the dye companies want in on the very lucrative techelet market. One dye producer said that the rabbinic stance as it now is costs his company millions of shekels in lost revenue.

Fritato Layers has announced a new product: kosher pig rinds. Yes, pig rinds. Seems the company found a local hashgacha company, the Pot-Q, led by Rabbi Moshe Potinskywitz, that certifies pig rings. These are the real thing, boys and girls. According to the rabbi, the pig rinds are shredded, mashed, marinated and recoagulated. As such they are a new creation and therefore kosher. America goniff!

KOSHERNESS WARNING: DO NOT EAT MUN HAMANTASHEN. It is way too difficult to tell if the little black dots are mun or insects. Nine thousand, five hundred rabbis in Israel have signed on to this ban. Here in the States, over at YU, Rabbi Berel Shlechterman announced that YU ordained rabbis are ipsy pipsies who may not issue a psak din and must, therefore, rely on rabbis who are gadol b’chochma u’v’minyan (loosely translated as big shot rabbis) who will tell them the halacha. The rabbi also banned mun hamantashen. Over on the Sefardi side of the street, Rabbi Yehezkel Shabbtai Salemi, better known as the kula nut, said that only an idiot can fail to see the difference between mun and insects. Rabbi Salemi allows mun hamantashen. Jewish leaders in Deal, New Jersey announced that they had procured enough mun hamantashen so that all of their Ashkenasi friends will have for Purim. Maybe even enough left over for Pesach, too.

Happy Purim

Any resemblance to any living person and people mentioned in this column is merely an accident caused by our inherent bad taste.