THE WORLD’S WORST ICE CREAM FLAVORS

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT NON KOSHER ICE CREAM. WHY ARE WE RUNNING IT? READ IT AND YOU WILL SEE. PREPARE TO LAUGH OUT LOUD!

The Japanese have long taken pride in their ability to adopt, adapt and improve on customs, practices and styles from other countries. Having succeeded globally with cars, electronics and even fashion, it was only natural that the Japanese turned their hand to trying to surpass the West with one of its favorite culinary delights – ice cream. Here are some of their amazing inventions:

1. Fish Ice Cream. Something must smell fishy about ice cream flavored with saury – a saltwater fish popular in Japan. But there’s no worries about that with this offering from Kimura Shoten as the fishy fumes have been drowned out by liberal doses of brandy.

2. Octopus Ice Cream. Want to tantalize your taste buds with a tentacle? If so, Octopus Ice Cream is the solution. The Japanese have been able to come up with an amazing variety of uses for octopus, ranging from delicacy to porno movie prop. Little wonder then that octopus has found its way into ice cream.

3. Squid Ice Cream. Not wanting to give Octopus Ice Cream a leg-up, Kimura Shoten used the extra legs available to step forward with squid flavored ice cream.

4. Ox Tongue Ice Cream. What better way to tickle your taste buds than with another tongue? Though Ox Tongue Ice Cream may not be the first delicacy to come to mind, its taste is nothing to have a beef with.

5. Sweet Potato Ice Cream. Sweet potatoes have a reputation in Japan for causing flatulence. Mention Sweet Potato Ice Cream though, and it’s more likely to induce nausea.

6. Fried Eggplant Ice Cream. Eggplant is a mainstay of the Japanese diet, appearing regularly on such dishes as pizza and in sandwiches. Becoming an ice cream flavor was merely a matter of time.

7. Crab Ice Cream. Hokkaido, Japan’s northernmost prefecture, is renowned for its rich array of seafood, prime amongst the delicacies being crab. Though not everybody’s favorite ice cream flavor, this is a dish worth sinking your claws into.

8. Corn Ice Cream. Corn has managed to wrangle its way into many dishes in Japan, notably pizza and ramen noodles. Having been so successful in other culinary fields, nothing was going to stop the development of corn ice cream.

9. Koshihikari Rice Ice Cream. A strong local preference for Japan’s favorite rice, koshihikari, has long prevented foreign farmers from gaining a foothold in the lucrative Japanese rice market. Koshihikari is also used to make some of Japan’s finest sake. But koshihikari is one rice strain that is something of a strain to stomach when used in ice cream.

10. Wasabi Ice Cream. Sushi gets its punch from the horseradish paste known in Japanese as wasabi. While its tingling taste makes a delightful addition to raw fish, wasabi’s tangy flavor also makes for a surprisingly edible ice cream.

11. Shrimp Ice Cream. Most people would be filing a report with their local health authorities if they dug up the corpse of a shrimp from their ice cream, but with this product from Roman Holiday, it’s standard practice. The image Shrimp Ice Cream probably conjures up amongst most people probably comes closest to the actual taste.

12. Eel Ice Cream. Eel is a summer delicacy in Japan, which probably explains why Futaba decided to use it to flavor an ice cream. Surprisingly, the smooth taste is quite palatable, even if the thought of what’s being eaten is not quite as palatable.

13. Nagoya Noodle Ice Cream. Some would think you’d be off your noodle to imbibe an ice cream flavor such as this. Fortunately, Chakkiri Musume Honten, the inventors of this ice cream, were able to develop noodles that didn’t turn hard when they were served under 30 degrees Celsius.

14. Chicken Wing Ice Cream. Nagoya is famous for its poultry, so it should come as no surprise that the taste of this ice cream is best described as foul. It actually tastes like a fried chicken wing, which is fine if that’s what you’re eating, but not if you’re tucking into some ice cream.

15. Miso Ice Cream. Miso bean paste, together with soy sauce, is said to be the flavor of Japan. Miso is an essential element of many Japanese foods and is indeed delicious when served with the correct dish. But when it comes to ice cream, it’s best to give miso a miss.

16. Cactus Ice Cream. A tasty treat that will prick the hearts of ice cream lovers everywhere. It is smooth and refreshing with a taste that must be like drawing water from a cactus after being parched in a desert for days.

17. Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream. The mere thought of putting raw horseflesh into ice cream may be enough to produce plenty of neigh … er, naysayers. And, rightfully so. You can get it straight from the horse’s mouth, this would have to vie for the vilest ice cream ever created. The chunks of meat inside it offer ample proof of why horseflesh is usually used in dog food.

18. Goat Ice Cream. Goats are known for eating absolutely anything; those brave enough to try this Japanese ice cream may do well to adopt a similar attitude. Made with, of course, goat’s milk, but also containing plenty of the rest of the animal.

19. Whale Ice Cream. Whale has long been a delicacy among the Japanese. Certainly not a politically correct choice, but one that will definitely get people blubbering. Despite the rich, creamy texture, the ingredients are probably from a minke and not a sperm. Perhaps we should all be glad for that.

20. Shark Fin Noodle Ice Cream. Just when you thought it was safe to eat ice cream again, here’s something you can really sink your jaws into. The tangy taste of Shark Fin Noodle Ice Cream is definitely one for the fin-nicky fan. A great white ice cream!

21. Oyster Ice Cream. Giving an entirely new meaning to Pearl of the Orient, Oyster Ice Cream can be eaten at any time, even if there’s an “R” in the month. Oysters have a reputation for providing prowess, but whoever thought of this ice cream should have made like its ingredients and stayed in the shell.

22. Abalone Ice Cream. About the only thing fishier than the taste of Abalone Ice Cream is the business sense of whoever decided to put it on the market. Abalone is certainly a delicious addition to many aspects of Japanese cuisine, but when it comes to ice cream, perhaps abalone would have been better left at the bottom of the ocean.

23. Seaweed Ice Cream. If marine animals aren’t your cup of ice cream, perhaps a healthy alternative of seaweed is preferable? Seaweed is packed with minerals, some of which are medicinal, which probably goes a long way in explaining the taste.

24. Deep Sea Water Ice Cream. Brine may well rhyme with fine and shine, but this flavor offering the salt of the sea does neither. Imagine drinking some milk at the beach precisely the moment you cop a mouthful of water after a huge wave dumps on you and you’ve got something like this extraordinary taste.

25. Spinach Ice Cream. No longer will frustrated parents have to urge their children to eat their greens if they want to have dessert. Now, Spinach Ice Cream will let kids kill two birds with one stone by eating their veggies and ice cream at the same time.

26. Garlic Ice Cream. At last! An ice cream that lets everybody around you know you’ve eaten it! Garlic-flavored Dracula Ice Cream is a summer delight you can really sink your teeth into. Designed to ward off vampires, this uncommon choice of flavoring may ward off a few ice cream lovers, too. Garlic may well be a wonderful condiment for an assortment of foods, but, as for a substance vampires really hate, this is bloody awful. Incidentally, Garlic Ice Cream was made in the tiny Aomori Prefecture village of Shingo, which claims to be the place where Jesus Christ’s grave is located.

27. Sesame, Soybean and Dried Kelp Ice Cream. This is a real winner, and about as healthy as you can get with ice cream, by combining three staples of the traditional Japanese diet that have made people into the longest-living on earth.

28. Lettuce and Potato Ice Cream. Lettuce Ice Cream? With Potato? Rarely the best of partners even in dishes such as salads where they at least complement one another, Lettuce and Potato Ice Cream is a leafy spud dud.

29. Wheat Ice Cream. Perhaps it would have been a better idea not to separate the chaff. Like buckwheat noodles and wheat tea, this ice cream is a tasty treat even if it doesn’t sound as though it’ll wheat, oops, make that whet, the appetite.

30. Curdled Bean Ice Cream. One of Japan’s most repulsive foods – fermented beans that form a paste that looks like slime from a cheap Hollywood horror flick, with an odor akin to dirty socks – this was a natural choice for a unique ice cream flavor. Being such an appealing morsel, natto is bound to be healthy, but using it in artery clogging ice cream relieves it of even that virtue.