OMG!!

This just in from Kosher Issues magazine:

Avraham Avinu ate trefe. It’s right there in the Bible. Check it out. He ate milk and meat at the same time. Oh, and by the way, so, too, did Moshe Rabbeinu!

Before this day is over, run (do not walk- run Jews, run!!) to shul and do tshuvah.

Leading rabbis have determined that Entennman’s cakes were the original manna. Earlier authorities thought it was Twinkies (they have a shelf life of two million years), but they were wrong. Specifically, the Louisiana Crumb Cake was the fave of the Bnai Yisroel.

Quinoa: Rabbis have discovered that Quinoa is actually a grain that was eaten by King David, King Solomon and King Josiah. Elijah the Prophet liked his Quinoa with chocolate covered cherries and pretzel bits. However, none of them ever ever ever ate Quinoa on Passover. Nope. Millennia before the notion of kitniyot was even a mere wisp of an idea, they ruled that Quinoa was assur on Pesach, Shavuot and Purim. They were matir,however, on fast days for a quick mid day pick me up.

Queen Esther ate peas and beans because there was no kosher food available at Ahasveurus stadium. She probably did not need a grogger.

Historical oddity: Purim is the only day of the year when Jews do not eat Chinese food.

Purim spelled backwards is Mirup. Evian spelled backward is naive. Serutan spelled backward is natures. Ew lla evil ni a wolley enirambus. Notary Sojac. AM FM Norad Konelrad. DVD.

Not everything that glitters is gold. Every pot has its lid. And there are plenty of fish in the sea.

happy purim. Do not drink and drive- you could hit a bump and spill your drink.