SELECT 55 DIET BEER (WHY??)

Anheuser-Busch
With mountains of deep-fried chicken wings and enough guacamole to turn you green, the Super Bowl is the day when diets die a cholesterol-choked death.

But while your waist may balloon, who says you need to sport a matching beer belly too? This week marks the release of Anheuser-Busch’s Select 55, a light beer that’s barely more caloric — and flavorful — than water.

Clocking in at a slender 55 calories and 1.9 grams of carbs per 12-ounce bottle, Select is the self-professed “world’s lightest beer,” a statement that’s as enticing as “the world’s tastiest rice cake.”

Truth is, no craft-beer convert would dare be caught within 100 yards of this fizzy diet beverage. To this jaded drinker, Select 55 seems like another blind grasp at rapidly disappearing market share — beer sales sunk another 2.2 percent in 2009.

Here’s a tip, Anheuser-Busch: If you want to regain your money-earning mojo, focus less on hail-mary gimmicks and start brewing beer that, you know, actually tastes good. A touchdown for our taste buds is a win-win for everyone.