More breaking news:
Condolences to the family of Reb Yossel Baaltzeduka, who was hounded to death by schnorrers who found out that he had written a $10 check to a charity he had never heard of and didn’t ask for documentation.
More breaking news ahead…………….
The World Union of Serious Shadchanim (WUSS) called for the abolition of Jewish dating sites such as JDate and Frumster, claiming that this phenomenon is diminishing their parnasa. Their claims were withdrawn, however, when it was pointed out that (1) this would also mean shutting down SawYouAtSinai, which is run by shadchanim, and (2) their parnasa is actually INCREASING because of the number of inappropriate matches arising from such sites…
The Shuloim Heavenly Visitation Home has announced some new diets in time for this caloric time of year:
The Whskey Diet- You drink yourself into a coma. When you awaken many days later, you will be thinner.
The Garlic Diet- You eat a ton of fresh garlic every day. As a result, no one will be able to come close to you. Standing way off, you will look much thinner!
The Moshe Rabbeinu Is Our Mashgiach Diet- No thanks, I will just have some cut fruit or some cottage cheese.
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